Insane Mother of Two Seeking Assylum

Picture this if you can

Wed, 26 Nov 2008 13:15:20 GMT

I am in the living room watching "Dancing with the Stars" , and its the finale show to see who wins. Here in Japan it is the day before thanksgiving so I have the turkey on the counter to finish defrosting since it hasnt done it in the refrigerator. All of a sudden, my daughter Jasmine comes into the living room, dragging the turkey. She is wearing her pretend barbie princess heels and nothing else.

Princess heels + Naked + dragging a 15 lb turkey = Mommy laughing too much to get mad.

So I tell her to take it back in to the kitchen and put it back. So she puts it back alright. I get up to look for it and cant find it. She had taken everything out of the bottom of the fridge and put the turkey in and put everything back in. I couldnt see the turkey without moving everything. It took me an hour to find it.

Still laughing too much to be mad and she is already asleep.

medical who haaaa

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:36:28 GMT

I have lost sensation in my big toes about 50%. It means that they are always half asleep. I have excrutiating pain in my left heel. I have to walk on my toes on that foot which probably isnt a good idea. My hip has shooting pains on the left side. When I sit to use the bathroom, by the count of 7, I am crying in pain.

I started school yesterday. Was the first person to access the virtual classroom. I am sure that the teacher is thinking - GGGGEEEEEZZZZZUUUUSSSSSS. I commented the hell out of everything.

Anyway - been sleeping till noon on the couch while my 4 year old sees to the needs of her and her brother. She gets them food and drinks. I taught her how to open a soda with a butter knife. I taught her how to cut open chips with safety scissors.

This is the epitomy of being a bad mommy.

My first writing assignment for Writing 101

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 06:25:01 GMT

How I Write

When I sit down in front of a blank page, my head begins to compile phrases which explain the chaos in my head that is my imagination. If I am not given a specific topic to write about, I am able to spew words on the paper as if they were uncontrolled outbursts in a room full of people who are not listening. I love to write and usually my writing is of a fantasy nature due to the fact that my life has been less than fantastical and more like that of a life not lived.
Without going into too much detail, my childhood was dark and I am finding that I am not alone in this discovery of powerful journaling. When I was younger, I heard about out of body experiences and a book that Shirley McClain wrote detailing her beliefs in those experiences. I never read her book because I am not sure that you can actually leave your body. However, I am sure that your mind can be distracted to another place completely through the power of fantastical journaling.
I have taken my journaling with me many places to become even more inspired by nature. I have enjoyed the mountains while lying under a beautiful, fluffy cloud-filled sky, the beach with its lullaby of waves, the desert where everything has adapted to the sun, and have completed some of the best pieces of writing to ever arise from the ashes of my imagination.
If given a specific topic to address, my writing takes a different approach as does the chaos of my brain. My mind jumps to attention and begins to formulate how I wish to respond to the topic at hand. I am a born debater and enjoy a structured, non-confrontational discussion where two individuals express two different sides of an issue. I always subscribe to the sentiment of agreeing to disagree when it comes to someone who does not see things the same way that I do. Catch me in a bad mood however, and I become the exact opposite of what the other person believes just to be the one who covers the con side of an issue. I enjoy using words to spark thought with the person before me who has never considered a different side to the issue.
All in all, I am still a respectful debater and respectful writer who use writing as a descriptor and use the opportunity to share myself in words. You will always see my personality in my writing unless it is a format that subjectivity is not needed. I can definitely say that most people do not really know me unless they have taken time to read my journal. I can be honest when writing unlike I am when speaking. When writing, I process things completely and begin the journey of continuing to a better place. Writing allows me to organize my head, imagination, and thoughts in a way that makes me feel sane. It is a valuable thing to feel sane.

If you flame my opinion, I will delete you from my friends list

Thu, 06 Nov 2008 02:05:51 GMT

Everyone is praising the election of Obama. I do agree it is a historical landmark in our time for he being elected the first black president. It was soon to happen and for that I believe we have done a good thing.

However - and its a big however - I am a really good judge of people and bullshit coming out of their mouths - almost psychic even. I have no facts to support what I feel about Obama but I get the feeling that all those promises he made on the campaign trail are bogus.

There is an air about him that leads me to think he is a "parent pleaser". You know, one of those guys who make the parent think that this is a responsible young man dating their daughter and then when they leave the house, the clothes change and all hell breaks loose. I get the feeling that he is turning his back after saying all those good things and going "Did that sound good? Do you think they believed that one?"

I noticed several things that he misspoke in his campaign and I wont go into it now. If you ask my sister, I am a professional debater. In other words, I can take either side of an argument and fluster the person so badly it is actually funny. I enjoy antagonizing someone when I am in a bad mood. I completely made this lady leave a nail salon once because she was all "feminist rules" and I started to debate with her about how she was naive to think that women can do anything a man can. Now any of you know that i am a firm believer in equal rights, equal pay. So it was a side I didnt believe in. If I had to chance to talk to Obama, I am sure that he would be flustered because it is something that I would be pro about.

Anyway - I am really nervous about the state of our union. I am not even sure McCain was the answer either. I didnt vote because I couldnt decide who to vote for. Both of them seemed to be the worst choices to me.

Fri, 31 Oct 2008 11:08:31 GMT

I have spent this week trying to get my home in order. I have take more meds than prescribed. I have been in pain ever minute of every day this week and its not even over. And to add to the shit I have piled on me, I have a sale this weekend of the stuff that I make. I hate it but I have already committed to it.

I freakin hate having fibromyalgia. Everyone thinks that I am just a lazy fat woman who cant walk because she weighs too much. The little girl that I watch a couple days a week, her mom said something along the lines of "I cant leave my kid here while its this messy." to me this past week. I wanted to smack her in the face. I told her to do what she needed to do but I was doing the best I could.

I got my textbooks in the mail the other day. I am going to go ahead and get started working on the syllabus work listed for Information Systems Management 201 and Writing 101. I am hoping this goes easy. I am going to take three classes next term I think depending on how I am able to handle these two.

My daughter is hillarious

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:05:18 GMT

Jasmine just comes to me and says in her best monster voice

" MOOOMMMMYYYYY I Put that in the dbkhpiwennkadksl"

I says WHAT????

"I put the kitty in the frigerator."

OMG GO GET THAT CAT OUT OF THE FRIDGE~!~~~!!!

She laughs and goes and opens the fridge and sure enough. There sits the cat looking like - "What??? WHat did I do??? Yea the light goes off...so what?"

The year in review

Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:03:29 GMT

The Year in Review
So I have been here in Japan for a little over a year. My kids have seen better days as well have I. There are setbacks of course but more than that, I have really had a decent year.

I found out about my fibromyalgia this year. It explains all the hurting that I have always had that everyone made fat jokes about. You know who has never made jokes about my pain - my husband. He not only never made jokes but he has always carried things and been the muscle of the duo. I am on meds for the pain and most of the time I feel like shit but even though I feel like shit, I still have a lot to be thankful for so I keep pushing.

Jasmine has been diagnosed ADHD and I have gotten in touch with the Early Development specialists over at the elementary school and they are going to see her and give me some suggestions about how to manage her. They are also going to give her other screenings to help get her speech up to where it needs to be. She has grown hand over foot and is still skinny as ever. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She is becoming more independent now and hugging and kissing are not her thing. I miss my cuddle bug but they have to grow up. She is going to be head strong and self sufficient in a good way. I am glad.

Jon is tall and thin now too. He is the same height and weight as his sister who is 13 months older. He is in the 99th percentile for his age group but they say its not anything to worry about because he is just going to be tall. He is starting to speak more and more. He loves to dance. He is a dance a holic. He has also learned his numbers, colors, and shapes like his sister did at this age. He is my love muffin. He likes to cuddle still so at least I get one more year of hugs and kisses from him.

Chad and I spent the first half of this year repairing the damage to our marriage that occurred in San Diego. After getting through that crap, we have spent the second half discovering that neither one of us is the same person anymore. Its not a bad thing but having to grow with someone when your husband is gone to sea 5 out of 12 months of the year makes that a bit difficult. The one thing that still rings true is that Chad loves me. He loves me no matter what happens.

My beautiful Son

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 00:41:03 GMT

Jon came over to me and looks at me with all sincerity and says, "Mommy...Mommy....Mommy."

I said, "What baby?"

He says, "BEEP BEEP! BYE!" and then he runs away.

That made my whole day.

*for those who do not know - he was pretending to me the road runner*

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 18:08:52 GMT

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. Then the bartender says, ”Sorry, but you can’t eat your own food in here.” So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.

Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, "What's the matter now?"

"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny through his tears.

"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"

"I did!" sobbed Johnny.

What makes you cry?

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 12:21:57 GMT

Its interesting. I am sitting here watching thursday's episode of All MY Children thanks to the magic of YouTube. I am telling you - I am a happy woman because in San Diego while stationed there, I had no friends. As long as I got to see Ryan Lavery and Erica Kane, I was alright with the world. Now here I am in another country that does not air All My Children and up until about a month ago, I had just been reading the updates to stay abreast of what my friends where up to. See - I considered Ryan and Erica real friends because I needed to have conversations with someone and hey - they responded exactly the way I wished them to. On top of that, I get to see Erica on Dancing with the stars right now and that is a bonus. But back to All My Children......WAIT....EARTHQUAKE. Ok - not too bad. Just about 12 secs and then it stopped this time. Anyway - I was surfing youtube and put in All My Children and I was looking for something particular that had happened hoping that someone had put the clip of my friend Ryan telling his skank ho bitch wife that he never loved her ....again, I am off on a tangent... anyway..... What do I discover but that someone actually posts the entire show without commercials in small segments so that you can watch them without buffer lag. I love this woman....except for today.

Babe died today and it made me cry.... Bye Babe - you didnt rate with Ryan and Erica but you were one of my friends just the same. I will miss you except not. Her husband JR - he is taking it hard and enter...DAVID....don don DDDOOONNNN!!!! He shows up in the last three seconds of the scene of her death and he is the one surgeon who could have saved his only child. I used to have sex dreams about DAVID HAYWORTH. I am glad they brought him back....so now I will be watching Ryan, Erica, and David.

No thanks to ABC mind you who wont let you watch full episodes over seas. those bitches.

What is the matter with people.

Mon, 20 Oct 2008 11:49:33 GMT

This past friday, I took a much needed Mommy break. I hired a sitter and I was gone for four hours. When I got home, everything that my kids had to eat for the day was thrown in the living room - which is what they do if you dont watch them. They took full advantage of the babysitter and had a blast making the living room and the rest of the house look like a war zone. They emptied the cat box full of litter on the floor and poored water in it because its a volcano that needed lava. Then once through with that venture, they wanted to jump on my bed - first they had to strip the blankets and pillows and throw them on the floor - where the water logged poop and piss filled litter was.

I got home and was so tired from walking that my hips hurt and my legs hurt and my knees were so bad off that I had to sit. ENTER my friend Millie who is suppossed to leave her daughter here while she is at work. "Wow what happened? I cant really leave Stephana here in this. Do you want me to help you clean it up?"

She should have just said - You lazy bitch! This place is a pig sty and I have better standards than you for my daughter.

SO I told her to go to work and that I would clean it - if she felt like she couldnt leave her daughter here, take her to work with her but I would be cleaning it right now. So off to work she went.

Long story short - I hurt so bad that night that I couldnt sleep. I cried for over three hours trying to get ina position to lay in the bed. I ended up going to the couch and propping upright which made my ankles swell into watermelons but it was the only way to be without pain.

I have probably 15 loads of laundry to do and the back bedrooms to clean. I got the cat crap up but the floors need to be detail cleaned still. I am not doing well.

And on top of everything this weekend, I busted out the back glass of my van.

My 4 year old Tutor

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:30:27 GMT

I am constantly learning from my children and today, I learned that what you say when you think that no one is listening should not be said at all.

The children and I were in the car and my daughter looks at me with all seriousness and says, "Mommy are you sick of me?"

I caught my breath and said very calmly, "No baby, Mommy could never be sick of you. I love you."

"If you are sick of me, can I give you medicine and make you all better so you not sick anymore?" she says.

I began to cry ( no surprise on that one huh?) and said to her, "Oh Jasmine. Mommy could never be sick of you. I love you! You are my favorite daughter."

She smiled.

Isnt it amazing what comes from the young and innocent.

My kids at the beach in Japan

Sat, 11 Oct 2008 09:30:16 GMT

It was about 80 outside and 50 in the water. But you know kids. Nothing phases them.

Fri, 10 Oct 2008 04:09:31 GMT

I am going to cut it because its going to be long and personal. If you dont want to read it, then skip on by.

I was reading in another community about a vote being called to ban gay marriage. It made me start thinking about my past and present lives.

I have same sex tendencies. I can look at a man and say, he is cute or he is attractive or he is hot. I look at a woman and I get all sweaty and nervous, excited, and aroused. In the past, I have dated girls and been really comfortable with that. I have been physically engaged with woman and found that to be more natural for me than what happens between man and woman.

Now there is my experience with men - I have had partners in the double digits and I am embarrassed to say that by todays standards, I would be considered a Slut. Actually I am not embarrassed about the fact that I had so many partners as I am because of the reason. I kept finding all these men who wanted to have sex with me because I thought that my lack of sexual desire with them was because I hadnt found the right one. I could go through the motions and be the one who goes above and beyond to satisfy her partner. That is what made them keep wanting to come back - I did all the work. There have been (not counting my marriage because I put that in a whole other category) two times in my life that I have been aroused by a man to ecstasy. On New Years Eve 1998, I was the champagne girl at this gay bar where I worked. I hosted karaoke there one night a week and bartended one night a week. Everyone knew me and the running joke was for these awesome looking guys to come up and kiss me trying to throw me for a loop. I hadnt come out at that point so they were all unaware that even though they were many of them good kissers, it was just that, a really good kiss. Enter Tony - italian lawyer, 5 foot 6, built, body builder. He comes up to me about 15 minutes after midnight on that new years eve and says "I didnt get my kiss." I thought "Oh well - here is a little peck on the cheek." OH NOOOO - he begins to kiss me and I thought I was going to wet my pants. I started backing away and he ended up following me until I had hit a bar stool where he kept advancing until I was sitting. At that point, he moved in between my legs as now we were at the same level - I am tooooo tall - and continued to kiss me. I am even getting a little tingle now just recalling this event. The kiss lasted about a minute and it was by far the best kiss I have ever had. He runs his fingers down the side of my face and touches my neck, then says "I have always wanted to do that." WHAT???? I dont get it but ok - all I could do was a goofy smile. There was no way I was getting off the stool. My friends came looking for me and wanted to know what was wrong with me. They thought that I was too drunk to walk. So when I told them what had just happened those bitches went looking for Tony to get a kiss. *grin*

Second experience with a man that did it for me - I used to sit on MIRC and chat all the time looking for anyone who would give me the time of day. On several occassions, I had random guys over and that was the main way that I used to increase my "score". Well there was a guy that I had met once before who went by the screen name NuConcept. I have no idea what his real name was and dont really care. He was online one night in 1998 (funny how that is the only year I have ever had stimulating male contact?) looking for a good massage in exchange for whatever. So I told him to come on over. He looked a lot like Joey Fatone so he was cute - a little chubby but not much. I found him handsome but it didnt really matter. So I began to give him a massage. It was really strange - we were in my room for three hours of just touching and stimulating. The sex part of it took about 15 minutes and it was really really good. But the 2 plus hours before hand, it made it so wonderfully exciting. I touched every part of him - not in a sexual way - but in a nurturing way where he fell into a trance. When it came time for him to reciprocate, I was so aroused from being able to touch all of him that his touch was exciting. He was also skilled too so it was an experience that was enjoyable.

Chad - he is my soulmate in every way except for that "I cant keep my hands off you all the time" feeling. I love him so much and I am in love with him but I am not aroused by his form except on rare occasions. It is usually the times when he has said something so incredible or he has been really interactive with me and the kids or one of those rare times when he puts all my needs before his. I count Chad a blessing - God sent him to me. Its the man I cant live without. I prayed for a family and had given up hope. I had also stopped dating women because I wasnt sure how I felt about it in relationship to what God wants for us. The bible does say its wrong but there are so many sins that are wrong, and God says no one sin is bigger than another, so I figured - hey I am already in trouble with God, I will worry about it when I get there. After praying, I felt it laid on my heart to be abstinent. Now that doesnt mean that I think same sex relationships are wrong. It just means that it was wrong for me and since that is all I answer to, I worry about me. I dont think that if you had same sex attractions and wanted a true love and a long term relationship, I dont think that anyone could fault you for wanting to be in love. Everyone needs love and we cant choose who we fall in love with. ENTER Chad Wainz. I didnt choose him - he kept coming over and following me home so to speak. He wouldnt take no for an answer. We became a couple instantly around THanksgiving 2003. Its the first day that I didnt see him since our first date. I cant believe that I even said I would go out with him but a girls gotta eat. Anyway - there was something completely codependent about him that initially drew me in and then once I got to know him, I thought - this is someone I could live with. Our first kiss excited me. The thought of being with him in marriage excited me (at my age, you think of everyone in those terms when you meet them) and when I got pregnant - I was convinced to follow my heart and stay with him. He had been begging me to marry him all along.

I guess the reason that I wrote all of this is because I am by definition a lesbian. But God gave me a solution to my fear of never finding love.

You may now return to your regularly scheduled program.

Rattling off for no apparent reason is over.

My Children Scare Me Sometimes

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 10:21:27 GMT

The two of them are playing with this police car that once you push the top, it will go forward and blow its siren. What is so funny about it all is that they are sitting about three feet apart with legs spread wide letting the car run right into their privates. That is what we call them around here to the kids - YOUR PRIVATES - YOUR BROTHER's PRIVATES. Every time it hits Little Man in the Pee Pee, he giggles and so does Jasmine.

*shaking her head*

This is bad.

Sat, 04 Oct 2008 09:52:48 GMT

After Quasimodo’s death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing while several applicants demonstrated their skills, he decided to call it a day. Just then a lone, armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer’s job.

The bishop was incredulous. “You have no arms!”

“No matter,” said the man, “observe!” He then began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.

The bishop listened in astonishment, convinced that he had finally found a suitable replacement for Quasimodo. Suddenly, while rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop immediately rushed down the stairways. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, “Bishop, who was this man?”

“I don’t know his name,” the bishop sadly replied, “But his face sure rings a bell.”

Things You Should Know

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 15:26:24 GMT

1. Money isn't made out of paper, it's made out of cotton.

2. The Declaration of Independence was written on hemp (marijuana) paper.

3. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a 'tittle'. 4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.

5. Susan Lucci is the daughter of Phyllis Diller.
6. 40% of McDonald's profits come from the sales of Happy Meals.
7. 315 entries in Webster's 1996 Dictionary were misspelled.

8. The 'spot' on 7UP comes from its inventor, who had red eyes. He was albino
9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents, daily. 10. Warren Beatty and Shirley MacLaine are brother and sister

11. Chocolate affects a dog's heart and nervous system; a few ounces will kill a small sized dog
12. Orcas (killer whales) kill sharks by torpedoing up into the shark's stomach from underneath, causing the shark to explode.

13. Most lipstick contains fish scales (eww).

14. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

15. Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as medicine.

16. Upper and lower case letters are named 'upper' and 'lower' because in the time when all original print had to be set with individual letters, the upper case' letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the smaller, 'lower case' letters.

17. Leonardo Da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time, (hence, multi-tasking was invented).

18. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood.

19. There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

20. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan; there was never a recorded Wendy before!

21. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with: orange, purple, and silver!

22. Leonardo Da Vinci invent ed scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

23. A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

24. The mask used by Michael Myers in the original 'Halloween' was a Captain Kirk's mask painted white.

25. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19 You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar (good to
know.)

26. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand (and you thought this list was completely useless.)

27. The phrase 'rule of thumb' is derived from an old English law, which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than
your thumb.

28. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was the Victrola, so they called themselves Motorola.

29. Celery has negative calories! It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. It's the same with apples
30. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying!

31. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher..

32. Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from Public Libraries.

33. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a space suit damages it.

My grandmother

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 13:07:31 GMT

They found a mass in her lung in the upper lobe on the left side. I called her this evening to tell her that I was thinking about her and I wished I could come home. She told me that she knew that I loved her and hoped that I knew whatever happened, its God's will and that she wouldnt hold it against me that I couldnt get home.

Saying goodbye to someone over the phone is not fun.

sick sick sick

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:23:58 GMT

I am going to cut this because its disgusting - but this is what is going on with my body.

Everything coming out of me is water. I have no poop only water. I have to run and sit for ten minutes while water comes pouring out of me where the poop should be coming out. This happened once before and I had to go to the hospital three days. I also cant eat. It makes my stomach hurt super super bad. I dont have time for this. I have the bazaar in four days.

Jasmine has a cold and is miserable. Jon is sick too - he doesnt have a runny nose but he doesnt feel well.

Answer the questions before reading my answers or the interpretation.

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 02:40:31 GMT

1. You are walking on a trail in the woods. Who is with you?
2. You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
3. How does the animal react to you; how do you react to the animal?
4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is a house. Describe the house:
5. Does the house have a fence?
6. You enter the house. You walk in to the dining room and see the dining room table. There is something on the table what is it? Is there anything around the table? If so, what is it?
7. You exit the house and go back to the trail through the woods and find a cup. What does the cup look like?
8. What do you do with the cup?
9. You walk to the edge of the woods where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What kind of body of water is it?
10. How will you cross the water?

My answers

1. Jesus
2. Squirrel
3. He looks at me while eating a nut. I watch him move and wait till he leaves.
4. Small Cottage with smoke coming out of the fireplace.
5. no
6. fruit bowl. small chairs
7. wooden cup.
8. bring it with me.
9. stream
10. walk through the water barefoot.

Interpretation

1. The person who you are walking in the woods with is the most important person in your life.

2. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems in your life.

3. The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems.

4. The size of the house is representative of the size of your ambition to solve your problems.

5. A lack of a fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You’d prefer people not drop by unannounced.

6. If your answer did NOT include food, flowers, or people, then you are generally unhappy.

7. The durability of the material with the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship.

8. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards your relationship.

9. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.

10. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.

DAMN!!! I DONT WANT TO HAVE SEX@!@ *laugh*

My husband fell asleep by 6pm on his first night home. :(

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 02:55:12 GMT

I was watching MTV last night and there was this show called Room 401.
It was not scary to me but I am sure if I was in these situations, I would have freaked out. One scene was this trio of friends in a cab and the driver had to stop to get gas at a station. While they were stopped, the three in the back waited (one of them was this really tall guy in drag - he looked like June Cleaver - circa 50's) and a homeless man who wanted money, came to knock on the window. THe girl of the group was closest to the window and pulled the shade down. She kept saying - ignore him just ignore him. The guy who was by the other window was just going to go ahead and give him a buck and the girl wouldnt roll down the window. All of a sudden, the bum was reaching through the glass and his hand was in the back of the cab reaching for the dollar bill that the other guy had. Since the shade was down and they were ignoring him, they didnt see his hand coming in the window that WAS ROLLED UP, so they werent expecting it either. The drag queen in the center, took off his stacked high heel shoe and was going to hit the bum with it. I started giggling at that. All of this took like three seconds so it didnt occur to the to put up the shade to see how he got in the car in the first place. But once his arm was out of the car, they put up the shade and still - the glass was rolled up.

It was funny and freaky at the same time.

The second one - this guy is watching two guys do a plumbing repair. The snake for the drain pops out and goes straight through the other guys chest. You see it pop out the back side of him and blood spatter everywhere. The guy who was watching, went running. They come back to check on the guys and there is nothing there - no blood spatter, the guys are working like normal. See that one wouldnt work on me - I would have stayed there to try and help the dude and figured out it was a prank.

it was funny though.

chad coming home - my fibromyalgia

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 00:05:36 GMT

I am cutting this for length

Chad comes home today. I am glad that he is coming home but not because I miss him so (although I do for some stupid reason) but I am glad because my children keep asking "Where is MY daddy?"

We are having Little Man's birthday party this sunday. It should be lots of fun. He will be three on October 3rd. I have invited the neighborhood again and am hoping for a good group of kids so my kids have a lot of little friends to play with.

I commented on Marika's journal about her disability yesterday. She asked if anyone wanted to read about her illness and it dawned on me that I hardly ever write about mine. I stopped writing or talking about it mostly because when I mention it to my husband or my friends, they sorta blow it off because they have heard me say "I hurt today" so many times. I get no sympathy here at home. I get no sympathy from my family. tishalook gives me sympathy over the phone sometimes but mostly I try not to talk about it with her either.
I have fibromyalgia and it gets bad when I dont get sleep and when I have a lot of physical activity. For example - My chest feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat. I thought I was having a heart attack the first time it ever happened but doctors ruled that out and gave me some bullshit story of an infection of the breast plate. There are days that I cant walk - doctors said that it was because I am fat. There are days when I wish I could cut off my arms than feel the pain in my shoulders. The docs would say that I slept wrong.

Last year, I finally got a diagnosis that I can live with from a CRAP ASS navy doctor. When I went in to see him initially, he started giving me the FAT talk. I told him that if I wanted to hear that, I would go to the nutritionist. I told him that something was wrong and that he needed to start looking at the bigger picture of pain. I told him my laundry list of pain and began to dare him to relate everything to my weight. It was finally after threatening with bodily harm that he put two and two together.

I just lost my train of thought. I am turning 40 next month and that happens more and more. Oh well.

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 11:56:58 GMT

I just laughed my ass off at the Season 7 Opener for Dancing With The Stars.

Cloris Leachman is hillarious.

Also, this quote from Jeffery Ross made me giggle:

"Speaking of Ball Room, these pants are a little too tight."

Just my Luck

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 09:01:34 GMT

Chad comes home in two days.

I just started my mensus.

6 thing meme

Tue, 23 Sep 2008 05:18:27 GMT

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Write 6 random/quirky things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.

1. I crave diet coke when I first wake up in the morning

2. I hate when someone has a smile and their teeth are all rotten. (not a little blemish or whatever but like all of them are rotted out)

3. Sometimes I wish I were a man.

4. I have an eating disorder.

5. One boob is severely smaller than the other so I have to pad my bra.

6. Sometimes I hate people. All people.

I am tagging metalic_ah, methody, singlemomga, pjordha, not_hothead_yet, diamondsworld