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I have spent this week trying to get my home in order. I have take more meds than prescribed. I have been in pain ever minute of every day this week and its not even over. And to add to the shit I have piled on me, I have a sale this weekend of the stuff that I make. I hate it but I have already committed to it.

I freakin hate having fibromyalgia. Everyone thinks that I am just a lazy fat woman who cant walk because she weighs too much. The little girl that I watch a couple days a week, her mom said something along the lines of "I cant leave my kid here while its this messy." to me this past week. I wanted to smack her in the face. I told her to do what she needed to do but I was doing the best I could.

I got my textbooks in the mail the other day. I am going to go ahead and get started working on the syllabus work listed for Information Systems Management 201 and Writing 101. I am hoping this goes easy. I am going to take three classes next term I think depending on how I am able to handle these two.

My daughter is hillarious

Jasmine just comes to me and says in her best monster voice

" MOOOMMMMYYYYY I Put that in the dbkhpiwennkadksl"

I says WHAT????

"I put the kitty in the frigerator."

OMG GO GET THAT CAT OUT OF THE FRIDGE~!~~~!!!

She laughs and goes and opens the fridge and sure enough. There sits the cat looking like - "What??? WHat did I do??? Yea the light goes off...so what?"

The year in review

The Year in Review
So I have been here in Japan for a little over a year. My kids have seen better days as well have I. There are setbacks of course but more than that, I have really had a decent year.

I found out about my fibromyalgia this year. It explains all the hurting that I have always had that everyone made fat jokes about. You know who has never made jokes about my pain - my husband. He not only never made jokes but he has always carried things and been the muscle of the duo. I am on meds for the pain and most of the time I feel like shit but even though I feel like shit, I still have a lot to be thankful for so I keep pushing.

Jasmine has been diagnosed ADHD and I have gotten in touch with the Early Development specialists over at the elementary school and they are going to see her and give me some suggestions about how to manage her. They are also going to give her other screenings to help get her speech up to where it needs to be. She has grown hand over foot and is still skinny as ever. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She is becoming more independent now and hugging and kissing are not her thing. I miss my cuddle bug but they have to grow up. She is going to be head strong and self sufficient in a good way. I am glad.

Jon is tall and thin now too. He is the same height and weight as his sister who is 13 months older. He is in the 99th percentile for his age group but they say its not anything to worry about because he is just going to be tall. He is starting to speak more and more. He loves to dance. He is a dance a holic. He has also learned his numbers, colors, and shapes like his sister did at this age. He is my love muffin. He likes to cuddle still so at least I get one more year of hugs and kisses from him.

Chad and I spent the first half of this year repairing the damage to our marriage that occurred in San Diego. After getting through that crap, we have spent the second half discovering that neither one of us is the same person anymore. Its not a bad thing but having to grow with someone when your husband is gone to sea 5 out of 12 months of the year makes that a bit difficult. The one thing that still rings true is that Chad loves me. He loves me no matter what happens.

My beautiful Son

Jon came over to me and looks at me with all sincerity and says, "Mommy...Mommy....Mommy."

I said, "What baby?"

He says, "BEEP BEEP! BYE!" and then he runs away.

That made my whole day.

*for those who do not know - he was pretending to me the road runner*
Two guys walk into a bar and sit down to eat their lunches. Then the bartender says, ”Sorry, but you can’t eat your own food in here.” So the two guys look at each other and swap lunches.


Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily. His mother asked, "What's the matter now?"

"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny through his tears.

"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"

"I did!" sobbed Johnny.

What makes you cry?

Its interesting. I am sitting here watching thursday's episode of All MY Children thanks to the magic of YouTube. I am telling you - I am a happy woman because in San Diego while stationed there, I had no friends. As long as I got to see Ryan Lavery and Erica Kane, I was alright with the world. Now here I am in another country that does not air All My Children and up until about a month ago, I had just been reading the updates to stay abreast of what my friends where up to. See - I considered Ryan and Erica real friends because I needed to have conversations with someone and hey - they responded exactly the way I wished them to. On top of that, I get to see Erica on Dancing with the stars right now and that is a bonus. But back to All My Children......WAIT....EARTHQUAKE. Ok - not too bad. Just about 12 secs and then it stopped this time. Anyway - I was surfing youtube and put in All My Children and I was looking for something particular that had happened hoping that someone had put the clip of my friend Ryan telling his skank ho bitch wife that he never loved her ....again, I am off on a tangent... anyway..... What do I discover but that someone actually posts the entire show without commercials in small segments so that you can watch them without buffer lag. I love this woman....except for today.

Babe died today and it made me cry.... Bye Babe - you didnt rate with Ryan and Erica but you were one of my friends just the same. I will miss you except not. Her husband JR - he is taking it hard and enter...DAVID....don don DDDOOONNNN!!!! He shows up in the last three seconds of the scene of her death and he is the one surgeon who could have saved his only child. I used to have sex dreams about DAVID HAYWORTH. I am glad they brought him back....so now I will be watching Ryan, Erica, and David.

No thanks to ABC mind you who wont let you watch full episodes over seas. those bitches.

What is the matter with people.

This past friday, I took a much needed Mommy break. I hired a sitter and I was gone for four hours. When I got home, everything that my kids had to eat for the day was thrown in the living room - which is what they do if you dont watch them. They took full advantage of the babysitter and had a blast making the living room and the rest of the house look like a war zone. They emptied the cat box full of litter on the floor and poored water in it because its a volcano that needed lava. Then once through with that venture, they wanted to jump on my bed - first they had to strip the blankets and pillows and throw them on the floor - where the water logged poop and piss filled litter was.

I got home and was so tired from walking that my hips hurt and my legs hurt and my knees were so bad off that I had to sit. ENTER my friend Millie who is suppossed to leave her daughter here while she is at work. "Wow what happened? I cant really leave Stephana here in this. Do you want me to help you clean it up?"

She should have just said - You lazy bitch! This place is a pig sty and I have better standards than you for my daughter.

SO I told her to go to work and that I would clean it - if she felt like she couldnt leave her daughter here, take her to work with her but I would be cleaning it right now. So off to work she went.

Long story short - I hurt so bad that night that I couldnt sleep. I cried for over three hours trying to get ina position to lay in the bed. I ended up going to the couch and propping upright which made my ankles swell into watermelons but it was the only way to be without pain.

I have probably 15 loads of laundry to do and the back bedrooms to clean. I got the cat crap up but the floors need to be detail cleaned still. I am not doing well.

And on top of everything this weekend, I busted out the back glass of my van.

My 4 year old Tutor

I am constantly learning from my children and today, I learned that what you say when you think that no one is listening should not be said at all.

The children and I were in the car and my daughter looks at me with all seriousness and says, "Mommy are you sick of me?"

I caught my breath and said very calmly, "No baby, Mommy could never be sick of you. I love you."

"If you are sick of me, can I give you medicine and make you all better so you not sick anymore?" she says.

I began to cry ( no surprise on that one huh?) and said to her, "Oh Jasmine. Mommy could never be sick of you. I love you! You are my favorite daughter."

She smiled.

Isnt it amazing what comes from the young and innocent.

My kids at the beach in Japan

It was about 80 outside and 50 in the water. But you know kids. Nothing phases them.




Oct. 10th, 2008

I am going to cut it because its going to be long and personal. If you dont want to read it, then skip on by.
Read more...Collapse )

Rattling off for no apparent reason is over.

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